Amongst the younger population (as well as a few older ones who maybe like to be considered ‘with it’) that goes “How very dare you”. That said, phrases do get picked up and become more widely used. I have always heard it in the context that indicates that the speaker was perhaps not one hundred per cent satisfied with a seemingly critical remark received but wanted to make that known in a softer way, a way not designed to hurt or provoke anger but nevertheless just wanted to give some indication of that point.
Of course, we Christian churchgoers don’t criticise do we, especially not on church premises! Well may I say, in love and with honesty, that sometimes we do. We are humans not angels although I am not trying to make excuses, it is something that we should try our hardest to avoid as well as controlling anger. However, if you consider for a moment, we should also call to mind the expression ‘it takes two to tango’. It takes at least two participants to make a quarrel does it not? Reading the devotional Word For Today, I came across this little account, “A man stopped by a news-stand every morning to pick up a paper. The man was always nasty, yet the customer was always nice to him. When a friend asked why he remained so kind in the face of such rudeness, he replied, ‘why would I let his attitude dictate my attitude?” Good point, I think. If someone gets mad at you, you don’t have to get mad back; after all, why throw petrol on flames!
Sometime ago I was told of a lady, a lovely Christian lady who no longer went to church at all. The reason being that there was an occasion when she had been the target of somewhat heavy criticism at church that had made her very upset. Apparently she said to others at the time, “she shouldn’t have said….”. Sounds like ‘she’ probably should not have and that no love was shown and no remorse or subsequent apology. What happened to the greatest command of Jesus, that we should love one another. He taught that we should be accepting of one another despite all our little foibles and that everything we do or say should reflect our love for God.
Hmm, perhaps a good response from that slighted lady might have been “How very dare you” without anger rather than a later “how dare she!”. That may not be an expression that you feel that you would want to use, but if I may gently say, I think you take my point.
“Let there be loved shared among us, let there be love in our eyes.” Taken from Mission Praise number 411.